Don't know what you want? I do!
Professional software development with a side of mind-reading. I turn your 'I think I need something like...' into actual working software. Project rescue, delivery, and translating business speak into code since 2015.
> client.requirements
"I want it to be like Uber, but for dogs, with AI, blockchain, and it should read minds"
✓ Translated to: "You need a web app"STATUS: Making it happen...Why Work With Me?
Because your project deserves someone who actually knows what they're doing (and has the caffeine addiction to prove it)
Requirement Translation
I speak fluent 'business requirements' and can translate 'make it pop' into actual features. No decoder ring needed.
Project Rescue Operations
Your previous developer vanished? Code looks like it was written by caffeinated squirrels? I've seen worse. Probably.
Coffee-Powered Development
Fueled by an unhealthy amount of caffeine and an even unhealthier obsession with clean code. Results may vary based on coffee quality.
Actually Meets Deadlines
I know, it's shocking. But I've mastered the dark art of realistic time estimation (hint: multiply by 3, then add a buffer).
Full-Stack Everything
From database optimization to pixel-perfect frontends. If it runs on electricity and frustrates people, I can probably fix it.
Launch & Beyond
I don't just build it and vanish into the ether. Your project actually gets deployed, monitored, and maintained. Revolutionary, I know.
How I Can Help
Real solutions for real problems (and some imaginary ones too)
- •Legacy code refactoring
- •Bug extermination service
- •Performance CPR
- •Documentation archaeology
- •'It worked yesterday' investigations
- •Requirements decryption
- •Architecture that won't haunt you
- •Code you can actually maintain
- •Testing (yes, actual tests!)
- •Deployment without drama
- •Feature development (the fun ones)
- •Bug fixes (the not-so-fun ones)
- •Performance optimization
- •Security updates
- •Scale when you go viral
- •Code review
- •Architecture consultation
- •Technology stack therapy
- •Team mentoring
- •'Should we use AI?' interventions
Investment Options
Transparent pricing because surprise invoices are scarier than production bugs
Emergency Room
$150/hour
For when your app is on fire and you need someone who won't panic (visibly)
- ✓Immediate bug triage
- ✓Production firefighting
- ✓Calm under pressure (mostly)
- ✓Stack traces decoded
- ✓Root cause therapy session
MVP Project
$10,000 - $30,000
Get your idea to market fast with a solid foundation that won't embarrass you
- ✓Core feature development
- ✓User authentication system
- ✓Database design & setup
- ✓Basic admin panel
- ✓Mobile-responsive design
- ✓Essential integrations
- ✓Deployment & hosting setup
- ✓2 weeks post-launch support
Full Project
$40,000+
Complete platform with all the bells, whistles, and scalability you'll need
- ✓Complete feature suite
- ✓Advanced user management
- ✓Analytics & reporting
- ✓Payment processing
- ✓API development
- ✓Performance optimization
- ✓Security implementation
- ✓Documentation & training
- ✓3 months post-launch support
- ✓Scalability planning
All prices in USD. Coffee not included but highly encouraged.
Happy Humans
Real feedback from real clients who survived their projects
"Found our app held together with console.logs and hope. Three weeks later, we have actual error handling and tests. I can sleep again."
Sarah Chen
CTO at StartupThatActuallyShips
"Explained what I wanted using interpretive dance and napkin sketches. Somehow got exactly what I needed. 10/10 mind reading skills."
Marcus Rodriguez
Founder at YetAnotherSaaS
"Inherited a codebase that looked like it was written during a fever dream. Now it's clean, documented, and my team doesn't cry anymore."
Emily Watson
Lead Dev at BigCorpInc
"Actually said no to my terrible ideas AND explained why. Built what we needed, not what I thought I wanted. Revolutionary concept."
David Kim
Product Manager at FeatureFactory
"Our app went viral and didn't crash. I repeat: DIDN'T CRASH. Still processing this miracle. Also, the code makes sense to our new hires."
Lisa Thompson
CEO at ScaleOrDie
"Migrated our jQuery spaghetti to React without breaking production once. Used actual git commits instead of 'asdfasdf'. True professional."
James Liu
Tech Lead at ModernizeEverything